1. Cristiano Ronaldo
Opinion is still divided on whether this best depicts Niall Quinn or Paul Konchesky. A bronze bust of Cristiano Ronaldo’s head spawned a host of weird and wonderful comparisons after Madeira airport, the birthplace of the Portuguese, was named after the Ballon d’Or winning striker.
2. Alan Shearer
A statue of Alan Shearer has been unveiled outside St James’ Park, and has been met with a
3. Ronaldo on the up and up
As a footballer, Ronaldo is said to be the full package – a phrase that the sculptor of this bronze statue in Portugal appears to have taken quite seriously when tackling the contents of the player’s shorts.
4. The real Ronaldo?
The Madeira statue isn’t the first example of a bizarre casting of the world’s greatest player.Nike unveiled this statue of Ronaldo in Madrid during the build up to the 2010 World Cup.
5. ‘Silver Balls’ Beckham
An unsettling, silver statue of David Beckham toured the world back in 2012 as part of an advertising campaign for H&M. Normally extremely photogenic, the British superstar appeared to wear a concerned look on his face while posing for the artwork.Perhaps he’d realised that his head-high genitalia would be the target of countless comedy snappers.
6. El Pibe
Former Colombian midfielder Carlos Valderrama is proudly represented by a whopping 22-foot bronze statue in his birthplace of Santa Marta.Artist Amilkar Ariza may or may not have used fusilli pasta to render El Pibe’s iconic hairstyle.
7. Ted Bates or Milan Mandaric?
When Southampton FC announced that they were going to immortalise former player and manager Ted Bates in a statue, the news was met only with approving sounds from the club’s legion of supporters.
However, after 18 months of hard work by sculptor and loyal Saints fan Ian Brennan, the statue was unveiled to a less than rapturous reception. Not only did this bronze Ted Bates have legs the same length as its arms, the statue’s face also bore a remarkable resemblance to Milan Mandaric, the former chairman of Southampton’s sworn rivals Portsmouth FC.
The statue has since been pulled down and replaced by another casting of Bates.
8. Maradona’s wayward hand
This statue of footballing demigod Diego Maradona at the Boca Juniors Museum in Buenos Aires bears a reasonable resemblance – but shouldn’t that left hand be higher, flicking a ball into the net and waving goodbye to England’s World Cup hopes?
9. Handball!
Wolves club legend Billy Wright captained England a record 90 times – but not at Gaelic football, which is what he appears to be captured playing in this statue outside Molineaux Stadium.
10. The original Ronaldo
Newcastle and England striker Jackie Milburn looks a bit hazy around the edges in this statue outside St. James’ Park. Note also the Ronaldo-esque protuberance.
11. Handle with care
Human hands can be difficult to accurately render in sculptures – but the reluctance to broach the subject in this statue of the late, great Bobby Robson rather makes the former Newcastle and England manager look a bit like a plastic figurine.
You also have to ask just what those hands are doing …
12. And finally …
He may not be a world famous footballer – or a footballer at all, for that matter – but that didn’t stop former Fulham owner Mohamed al-Fayed from erecting a statue of his good friend Michael Jackson outside Craven Cottage.
The statue has since been removed at the behest of a new owner, but its legend lives on. Al-Fayed has suggested that MJ was a good-luck charm for the club, which has been relegated and now languishes in the Championship since the pair departed in 2013.
Indeed, the stats do suggest the King of Pop may have visited better times upon the London club. Fulham won 33.7pc of their games while he was in attendance, vs just 25pc between the moment he was removed and their relegation from the Premier League in 2014.
